A time of school exams is just coming so it worths talking a bit more about self-support!
In some point f view, our minds are working as machines programmed partly by our own words, expectations and also by our own words we say about ourselves. Our minds process everything we say, therefore being disgraceful to ourselves can cause decrease of our self-confidence and making mistakes much! there are many outer aspects that influence our well being, but our own mindset is partly n our hands. We cannot choose outer aspects but we can make a complementary balance from inside us and this is our issue now!
Our inner words and sentences we say to ourselves work basically as commands to our minds. I guess you know this very well – imagine you play a composition and think about “surely making a mistake soon” and you will do! You then confirm yourself that you were right about your disabilities and the mistake occurred! It works opposite very often – you have a negative expectations and your brain just fulfills it. Additionally, when you think about making a mistake during playing you steal your focus from the composition and playing itself so there is much bigger chance of making a mistake just only by leaving the issue – the playing.
General technique of self-support. Creating affirmations = self-supportive sentences.
This technique is based on changing of your negative thoughts to supportive ones. We call them affirmations.
Be careful! This is NOT about loosing self-reflection and adequacy of your insight to your abilities and state of incremental playing. It does not mean that you will start lying yourself about who you are and how your abilities are good! So what is basically affirmation?
Affirmation is clear, true sentence that supports your needs and a way of progress by positive insight to your situation and yourself.
When to use affirmations?
We say affirmations ourselves inside or even aloud, for example with look at the mirror. We can support ourselves by affirmation anytime during the day. Optimal time is before seep and after waking up. Perfect time for affirmation is at the end of any of breath exercises(go back to article Breath, basis of your release) and body scanning(article Psychohygiene. Conscious release I.), because it comes to our relaxed state when our mind absorbs the meaning deeply. It is very useful to repeat affirmation before performance.
How to create affirmation?
First of all, think about what do you need to support within your learning or personal process? Think about key aspects and words bound with your issue. After that, try to create a sentence – affirmation – short, very clear, simple, supportive in reaching your goal, NO NEGATIVE within the sentence, NO LIE within the sentence. Affirmation is also not a simple opposite of your problem.
Remember that less is more, therefore work just with one affirmation for some time to allow your mind focus fully on one issue and raise effectiveness of your self-support.
Because it is the end of a year and most of us have exams, fighting with self-confidence, we will choose this issue for now. Let’s go through the whole process of creating the affirmation:
We raise a question. What do we need to support? In self-confidence.
What exactly we do not trust in within our playing or personality? ….example: abilities
So we need to support our confidence in our abilities. Therefore, in affirmation, these key words should occur.
How is it wrong?
“I trust myself!” …you do NOT trust yourself, thereofere this sentence is basically lie and you will not trust in its power and support…
“I am not afraid” The sentence is wrong, because there is negative and also because you are afraid…
“I am self-confident!” You are not self-confident, this sentence is basically lie and it will not work as supportive well.
Examples of functional affirmations?
“I can trust my abilities.” The word “can” is very important, because it does not categorically pushes you where you already are not, but it creates a space for possibility to be there or get there. This sentence acknowledges your doubts as a part, but raise your motivation to trust yourself more, that even you have doubts you CAN trust yourself, because next to your doubts there are your skills! 🙂
“Trust in my abilities grows” “My self-confidence grows.” Even if it does not seem that way, your skills grow, step by step. Sometimes we do not trust it just because we expect perfection, we have not already reached.
“I can allow mistakes.” This is very strong affirmation that already helped many students! Even if do not think so, you really can afford mistakes! Once you allow yourself this, your mind will relax more and get to the modus which allow you concentrate better and make less mistakes. This is the effect . melting the stress. Opposite way, the sentence: “I cannot make a mistake!” creates such stress and tension that you probably will make mistakes!
On the internet, you can find many quides to creating affirmations, some of those work with truly categoric positiva sentences such as: “I am perfect in all ways!” etc. In my experience with students these categoric positiva sentences usually do not work because you simply do not believe them and you know, they are not true so not even supportive. Additionally, these sentences do not include the process but just the goal, but we need to focus more on process! Sometimes, they can even be contra productive, because once you use them and opposite situation occurs, it will strengthen your negative feelings.
Self-confidence and progress support:
- “I am improving!”
- “I can rely on myself!”
- “I am doing my maximum!”
- “I can allow myself to be different.”
Before performance and exams:
- “I am becoming calm”
- “I can allow mistakes “
- “My hands are becoming calm.”
- “My mind is becoming calm”
- “I can rely on my memory.”